the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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