All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
