I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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