i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
