I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
