we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
