Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize