He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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