He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
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The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
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Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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