I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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