I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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