Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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