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Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
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