I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
