when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
