i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
