So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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