This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
