dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize