i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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