My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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