Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
