She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
