..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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