you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
