Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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