I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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