what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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