Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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