I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
organizing the empties. That sober.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
