I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
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