I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Someone signed my nipple.
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