Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
