your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
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I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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