I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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