I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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