i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
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