the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
