Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
