Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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