How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
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Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
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I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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