Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's rum buckets o'clock
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
