We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
