they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
