I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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