The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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