I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Randomize
