The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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