i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
