if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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