If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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