I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
