that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
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I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
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sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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