I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
