Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
