We're like a lot better than the average bears
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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