he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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