hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
