Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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