8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
