Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.