can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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