I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
